Get Out Your Torches Oncers: It’s Time For A “Witch Hunt”

Originally published on For Your Excitement.  17 March  2014.

Where to start Oncers? Tonight we added a new branch to the far too crowded Once Upon a Time family tree. We also learned that last week’s preview for this episode completely spoiled us for the not-so-big “flying monkeys are people” reveal. But most importantly, in my incredibly biased opinion, we find out the fate of someone near and dear to my Rumbelle heart. Get out your torches; it’s time for a “Witch Hunt.”

What you need to know:

Regina and Robin, sitting in a tree…:In Regina’s castle, the Wicked Witch sends one of her monkey minions to get the Queen. He swoops upon the Storybrooke company and nearly snatches up Robin Hood’s adorable son. Regina saves the kid and makes the flying monkey into a cuddly stuffed animal for the boy. Belle rightly surmises that the person occupying Regina’s castle must be from Oz, hence the flying monkeys and green smoke. “The bookworm’s right,” Regina replies. She goes into the tunnels that run underneath her castle, which aren’t protected by the spell. Robin decides to join her as thanks for saving his son and also because he loves her! Alright, maybe not yet but very soon Oncers. They arrive to find Regina’s blood-magic-sealed door is open.

The usual suspect: The Queen, who is devastated by Henry’s amnesia, privately informs Emma that she didn’t cast this new curse. However, at a town hall meeting later, everyone gangs up on Regina and Emma joins with the mob mentality. The Queen (like me) is ticked about this because oh my gosh haven’t they suspected her enough?! So she creates an earthquake and vanishes. Soon after, Emma meets her in her office and we learn this was a “clever” plan to fool everyone into thinking Emma wasn’t looking at all of them as suspects. Hey maybe she should talk to the random new girl no one remembers from the Enchanted Forest! Zelena is just in Granny’s chatting up Mary Margaret about her baby.

What “Dirty Little Secrets” Were Revealed In This Week’s Wonderland?

Originally published on For Your Excitement.  14 March  2014.


Ah Wonderers, I am so glad to be among you! Thank you to Emmy Rivera for filling in for me while I was sick last week. And what an episode last week! Will’s now the Red Queen’s genie, Lizard’s dead (apparently), Cyrus and Alice are finally engaged and Jafar has maybe gotten more than he bargained for with the Jabberwocky. Let’s learn what “Dirty Little Secrets” everyone is hiding.

What you need to know:

Long ago in Agrabah: Cyrus cheats at a card game and his opponents get their revenge by setting his house on fire while his mother is inside. To save their badly burned mama, Cyrus convinces his two brothers to go with him to the Well of Wonders. They fill their canteens with water but are grabbed by an Inferi before they leave. Ok, it’s actually the Guardian of the Well but whatever. She tells them that their mother is already destined to die so the water won’t help. Cyrus, perhaps motivated mostly by guilt, convinces his brothers to take the water despite the “price” they may have to pay. They’re able to revive their mother, who turns out to be Amara, Jafar’s future mentor/lover/snake staff! She hardly has time to admire her satiny skin before the Guardian arrives, transforms her boys into genies and shoots their bottles off we know not where.

Well well: Distraught that Jafar has his brothers (and that he didn’t realize it before now) Cyrus decides he must go the Well of Wonders to break their genie curse. Then Jafar’s nefarious plan will fail anyway. As luck would have it, Wonderland has a Well of its own so Cyrus and Alice go well wishing. To get there they have to choose between two red doors in the forest, both guarded by a single, riddle-loving knight. Though she initially tries to annoy him into helping, Alice eventually deduces that the knight is a liar. By asking him if one door leads to the Well she’s able to find the right path, which Cyrus decides to take alone. He meets the Guardian of the Well once more and begs for his brothers’ release but this is only possible if the water they stole is returned. Cyrus is all confused because surely his mother is dead by now but nope! She’s alive somewhere and now he’s got to find her.

Lorelai Gathers Her “Yes Men” Army In This Week’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Originally published on For Your Excitement.  12 March  2014.

Hello Agents! In the words of our favorite genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, “It’s good to be back!” Thank you to the lovely Special Agent Emmy Rivera for filling in last week. With the mystery of Tahiti getting more complex and crazy by the episode, we get a very welcome visit from our favorite female Asgardian warrior. Let’s join her on the hunt for Lorelei and her “Yes Men.”

What you need to know:

Skye is back: After receiving the injection of the uber secret T.A.H.I.T.I. serum, Skye is on the mend even if Simmons won’t let her out of the hospital bed yet. Ward drops by for some forced flirting and commends Skye’s stupidity in entering Quinn’s place alone. Her actions have alerted S.H.I.E.L.D. to Mike Peterson’s status as alive and owning a magical leg. Ward agrees to help Skye train harder so next time she won’t have to reply on a miracle drug to save her. In the lab, FitzSimmons is still baffled by Skye’s rapid healing and the drug that caused it.

Not Loki: While Coulson is off trying to track down Nick Fury, May briefs the team on some Asgardian activity S.H.I.E.L.D. wants them to investigate. Fitz, for one, is cool with this because Asgardians are their allies. Ward quips that Loki isn’t and for a brief moment I’m giddy with the thought that maybe Tom Hiddleston’s glorious villain will make a cameo. Alas, no. When the team reaches the site of the readings, the Bifrost opens and Lady Sif appears. And damn if she doesn’t look amazing! I do love Jaimie Alexander as Sif. She would’ve made a great Wonder Woman too.

The Lady Sif: Coulson is elected to speak with Sif, which he assures May he can handle because he’s “fine.” The Cavalry isn’t buying it though, saying “fine doesn’t look like this” and that she’s there for him. My heart sings with the Coul/May feels. SHIP IT AGENTS! Anyway, Sif fills the team in on Lorelei. The siren’s powers only work on men because “men have an inherent weakness we (women) do not share.” This makes Fitz and Ward stammer and shrug in disagreement while May looks on with pleasure.

Once Upon A Time Gives Us A “New York City Serenade” This Week

Originally published on For Your Excitement.  10 March  2014.

Hello Oncers! Out of the cloud of sickness I have emerged to witness the glorious return of our beloved show and most importantly, to find out what happened to my Mr. Gold. It’s been a long few months but it’s finally time to add some magic back in our lives. Are you ready for some serious Captain Swan feels?

Previously on Once Upon a Time: Rumple sacrificed himself to kill Pan and save everyone else. Regina couldn’t stop the curse that was going to send all of Storybrooke back to the Enchanted Forest but she was able to give Emma and Henry new, happy memories. They drove off and, a year later, were living in New York. That’s when Hook showed up at their door, kissed Miss Swan in the hopes of restoring her memory and got kneed in the groin for his trouble.

Now that we’re up to speed, it’s all spoilers ahead! Time for a “New York Serenade.”

What you need to know:

Emma Swan, the girl every man wants: In her new reality, Emma’s Billy Bob Thorton lookalike boyfriend proposes after only 8 months. She (perhaps rightfully so) freaks. He says he’ll wait for her to be ready and Henry’s on board with him making their twosome a trio but Emma’s gut is saying otherwise. Well, her gut and a dashing pirate. Hook shows up at her date pre-proposal and gives her an address where she can find answers to the questions she has about her past. She tells him to get lost but takes the address.

There’s no place like home: The Storybrooke crew arrive back in the Enchanted Forest in a poof of purple clouds. Some are glad to be back but Snow and Regina are heartbroken at having to leave their children behind. Regina even tries to bury her heart in the forest but is convinced not to by Snow, who says she can find happiness again. When they’re attacked by a flying monkey, Regina fights back with fire (literally) before Robin Hood saves the day. And so the Regina/Robin ship has begun to sail…

Double potion, please: The address Hook provided is to Neal’s apartment, where Emma finds Henry’s camera and strap with his name on it. She confronts Hook about this and he offers her a potion that would restore her true memories. “Drink the thing the crazy guy just offered me? No thank you,” she replies. She turns him in to the cops but after seeing pictures of Storybrooke on the camera, posts his bail and takes the potion after all. Her memories return and Hook grins, saying, “Did you miss me?”

Get Caught Up With The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. In “Tracks”

Originally published on For Your Excitement.  5 February  2014.

Photo courtesy of ABC

Greetings Agents! Last time we saw our beloved Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., we had learned some shocking and heartbreaking details about Coulson’s death/resurrection. Also, Skye found out she was an 0-8-4 when she was a baby, and Mike Peterson is alive but has been forced into the Clairvoyant’s service via an eye implant. Oh and Ian Quinn is a big baddie funding evil technology. Got all that? Wheels up!

Quinn is moving a VIP (very important package) by train so naturally the team is going undercover to intercept it. This is mostly important because everyone is paired up including Simmons and Coulson. She immediately calls him her dad and it’s adorable. Elsewhere, Ward changes into a conductor’s uniform and May gets in position atop the moving train. Because she’s a badass.

Skye and Fitz sneak into the luggage compartment. Getting ready to be a distraction to Quinn’s Cybertek security team, Simmons launches into her character’s backstory. She goes into hysterics about daddy Coulson being too busy with his work and prostitutes to be there for her and her mum. Stan Lee pops up for a great cameo to chastise Coulson, and following straight behind him are the Cybertek men. Simmons spills her “mom’s” ashes to slow them down, and Coulson takes moment to say, “Prostitutes? Plural?”

The Team Takes A Tumultuous Train Ride On This Week’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Originally published on PopWrapped.  5 February 2014.

Hello Agents! Long time no see. When we left our favorite Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. peeps last we had learned some horrifying and heartbreaking details about Coulson’s death and resurrection. Also, Skye was revealed to be an 0-8-4 when she was a baby and Mike Peterson was kidnapped and given an eye implant to do the Clairvoyant’s bidding. Lastly, Ian Quinn is a big baddie funding evil technology. All set? Wheels up! 

The team is en route to intercept a package Quinn is transporting by train and under guard from private security team, Cybertek. Going undercover to get close to the goods, everyone is paired up, most adorably, Simmons and Coulson. She immediately labels him as her dad and it is perfection. Alone with May, Ward notes that Skye is more focused than before and wonders what changed. He’s concerned something personal might get in the way of her work. “We both know that personal urges can affect tactical decisions,” he says. May agrees, replying, “That’s why I don’t have any.” Heh. 

In their compartment, Skye and Fitz pickpocket the conductor’s keys in order to gain access to the luggage area. Elsewhere, Simmons has created an entire backstory for her character and her absentee father. Just as she goes into hysterics about how daddy Coulson was never there for her mother because he was busy with his work and prostitutes, Stan Lee pops up for a great cameo to chastise Coulson. Following behind Stan and his ladies are the Cybertek men. Simmons spills her “mom’s” ashes all over them to distract them. Coulson takes the opportunity to get in this line: “Prostitutes? Plural?” 

“Seeds” Are Planted This Week On Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Originally published on PopWrapped.  15 January 2014.

Previously on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Coulson’s sad story got even sadder and we learned to love him all the more. Skye is forever obsessed with figuring out her past but none of us really care. She just might get some answers this week if she’s lucky. Let’s dive in, shall we?

A trio of college students’ after hours pool time is interrupted when the pool starts icing over. Seth’s leg is caught as he hauls himself out and he’s only saved thanks to the quick thinking of a pool skimmer-wielding fellow student who looks remarkably like a younger Fitz. Seth’s friends then drape a S.H.I.E.L.D. towel around his shivering shoulders.

On board the Bus, FitzSimmons explains that they are being asked to consult on the investigation into the frozen pool. They designed the device used to do the freezing, after all. Ward and Skye are tagging along but Coulson and May are headed off on their own. In The Cavalry’s words, “Coulson and I have other matters to attend to.” Anyone else thinks this is some subtle shipperbait?

At S.H.I.E.L.D.’s sci-tech academy, Agent Weaver greets the foursome. She explains that someone within the Academy set off the device and it was targeted at the cadets who were attacked. While FitzSimmons goes off with Weaver to do a guest lecture, Ward and Skye have yet another heart-to-heart where he assures her that she belongs on the team with everyone else. You’d think for a hacker who broke into a government agency’s files, Skye would have more confidence in herself.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 311: ‘Go Home’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  16 December 2013.

It has been a very long and exhausting(ly boring) half a season of Once Upon a Time, Oncers. But we made it! We braved the Neverland forest of perpetual setbacks and sides stories. We survived the onslaught of emotional baggage from everyone from the unusual suspects (Snow & Charming) to we-expect-better-from-you characters (Rumple).

We even managed to stay tuned in while a slew of new faces joined this entirely too large cast and enjoyed some (Ariel) while questioning the purpose of others (Tink). So now, Peter Pan’s twisted tale comes to a close, Rumple finds his courage and Emma gets to change her mind about a life-altering decision. Time for us all to go home…

Felix and fake Pan drop random vials of magic from Regina’s vault into Storybrooke’s well. But as we all recall, in order for the curse to work you have to supply the heart of the thing you love most. For Pan it’s not Rumple but Felix (a friendship/loyalty kind of love, just so we’re clear). The Lost Boy isn’t so sure about this plan and can’t we talk about this…Nope. He heart is ripped out and crushed into the well.

This is all while Gold is explaining to the main cast that the new curse will follow Pan’s evil machinations, just like the old curse did Regina’s. The solution is twofold: First, switch Pan and Henry back to their bodies, which requires the Black Fairy’s wand. Second, get the scroll back and Regina can cancel the new curse. A plan in place the team breaks their huddle while green smoke billows up from the well. Credits.

In the first of far too many flashbacks this evening, Blue reassures Charming and Snow that their daughter will be the Savior and everything will be peachy. For two people who also spout this kind of gushy optimism, they are unfairly grouchy about the fairy’s blanket optimism. However it does give Charming the chance to speak the episode’s tagline: Happy endings aren’t always what we expect.

In Gold’s shop, Snow reminisces with Emma over her old mobile. The two bond further over having both tried to do what was best for their kid by sending them away. In more important news, Rumple is nearly ready to perform the switchback spell as soon as he gets the Black Fairy’s wand. Tink, Neal, Hook and Charming are working on that at the church, where the Blue Fairy’s body is laid out for mourners. Looking to pay his respects, the Shadow swoops in upon the Wand Retrieval Unit. Commercial.

Let’s Go “Home” This Week On Once Upon A Time In Wonderland

Originally published on PopWrapped.  13 December 2013.

We’ve reached the end Wonderers, at least for 2013. In Once Upon a Time in Wonderland’s winter finale, Cyrus and Alice’s quest for one another also, mercifully, concludes. Plus, we’re reminded yet again that Will and the Red Queen are more compelling as characters and as a pair than the doe-eyed lovers. But more on that later because right now it’s time to go “Home”… 

As we like to do, we begin with a flashback. Alice and Cyrus watch falling stars and do a little cute flirting. I admit, as much as this romance irritates me, they do have some sweet chemistry together. Alice harshes on their make-out session by asking Cyrus about the compass he always has with him. Like Jack Sparrow’s it doesn’t point North, or in any direction really, except toward something you’re trying to find. Cyrus’ mother gave it to him long ago and far away when he was a human. So the compass is basically his blankie.

Before the pair can return to snogging, a group of marauders attack to capture Cyrus. Alice proves to be much more than a pretty girl in the frilly dress (again) by whipping out a sword and kicking some butt. And for her trouble she gets a nice stomach wound and collapses into her beloved’s arms. Credits.

In the present, Alice and Will are en route to the place she knows Cyrus must be heading. That might be a bit difficult for him considering he’s just stepped into a snare. Tweedle hears Cyrus’ attempts to free himself through the grapevine (literally) in the Queen’s garden and also spots his brother having a secret rendezvous with Jafar. When Tweedle reports the genie’s capture and his brother’s betrayal to the Queen, she is ecstatic and pissed all at once. Cyrus’ bottle is missing. Commercial.

Stomping their way towards the Outlands in the hope of meeting Cyrus there, Alice and Will first need to make a pit stop at the White Rabbit’s house. They’ll need him to dig them a tunnel somewhere safe to escape from the Queen and Jafar once they’ve gotten Alice’s lover with them.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 310: ‘The New Neverland’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  9 December 2013.

We are nearly at the end of this incredibly long (for us anyway) Neverland journey Oncers. Our heroes and some villains have returned to Storybrooke to reunite with all of the secondary character we know, love and miss. But of course, that wily Peter Pan keeps up his scheming even while trapped in Henry baby faced, yet suddenly much taller, body.

The episode opens on the quaint town of Storybrooke where nothing strange happens as long as everyone important is away. Belle takes Ariel to the docks where the mermaid instantly locks lips with hunky fisherman Eric. It feels appropriate to again point out that these two knew each for literally three minutes. But this is all just set up for the Jolly Roger to appear in the sky and swoop toward the dock. Credits.

The whole town has instantly gathered to applaud the arrival of the people they earlier said they didn’t actually miss. While everyone else gets hugs and kisses, Regina stands all alone. Snow throws her a well-deserved bone by saying for all to hear that they made it back because of the Queen.

Flashback to Regina interrupting the Charming wedding from the Pilot episode. After the ceremony, Snow is angry as hell about her big day being disturbed. Charming says the real way to stick it to Regina is to enjoy their honeymoon as soon as possible and I think we all know what’s really on his mind. The newlyweds share a genuinely cute scene together where Charming steals a kiss and I’m reminded that sometimes these two actually have on screen chemistry. Snow chooses the Summer Palace as their destination, later revealing privately to Grumpy that there’s something there that can help them defeat Regina.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 309: ‘Save Henry’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  2 December 2013.

It’s been two weeks since the last episode of Once Upon a Time but, just like this entire half season, it’s felt much longer. Just in case you forgot, last time on Once, Henry stopped using his brain and gave Pan his heart. The little snot is now on the path to immortality and phenomenal cosmic power! (Itty bitty living space to come later.)

Oh and because the Once family tree wasn’t weird enough, Pan is Rumple’s crappy father and also trapped him in Pandora’s Box. This week, Henry’s heart-lessness is resolved rather speedily, Regina remembers her maternal roots and out mothers both Emma and Snow, and Pan proves his much more than a one trick pony.

We start with a flashback to the Enchanted Forest. The curse is billowing toward the castle and Regina poofs into the dungeon where Rumple’s being held. She’s come to gloat about having cast the curse, which really makes no sense because he egged her on to do it. He just wants to pour salt in the open wound that is Regina killing her father to cast the curse.

As always, the Queen is masking her pain with swagger, saying she feels invincible even in the face of Rumple’s revelation about the Charmings’ savoir baby. He gets in one last dig before she skips off to gloat over Snow. “There’s a hole in your heart and someday you will come to me to fill it,” he sneers. Credits.

Henry’s mixed up family is trying to revive the boy, which is proving difficult because his heart is soaring off with Pan right about now.

Eleven years ago, Regina was facing a different tumultuous situation. She reveals to therapist Archie that she’s “feeling nothing.” Even a cricket turned psychiatrist can figure out it’s because the Queen Mayor is lonely. When Regina mentions she didn’t feel that aching emptiness when little boy Owen was around, Archie suggests she look into adopting a child.

Logically this means going to speak with Mr. Gold. Upon being asked to help Regina get a child: “Well I’m flattered but uninterested.” I love these two so much.

Gold agrees to help her find a child but cautions her that just because she wants a child, doesn’t mean she’s ready to have one. Nice PSA Once! Parents have to put their kids first, he reminds her, and selflessness has never been Regina’s strong suit.

What Needs “Repairs” On This Weeks Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D

Originally published on PopWrapped.  27 November 2013.

Greetings Agents! So last week we saw the human side of Ward, the slightly damaged but still awesome side of May and the always adorable and tightlipped side of Coulson. But most importantly we saw that Coulson’s magical place aka Tahiti may be just a dream or a vision implanted in his mind after his “death” at the hand of Loki. Sadly, we get no further development on this storyline but do get more details about May and a great twist on the people with powers set-up of the show.

In Utah a young woman buys some essentials at a gas station and gets harassed by the clerk for being the cause some guy named Jack’s death. When the clerk pushes the woman a little too far she inadvertently uses her psychic powers to throw cans and then a whole shelving unit at him. As he runs out, gasoline and fire create one heck of an explosion, even as the woman prays “not again.”

In May’s room, the Cavalry is getting dressed after a night of fun with, you guessed it, Agent Ward. Lover boy himself saunters out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel McSteamy-style and reminds us all that he has some wonderful, um, assets. No time for ogling though because there’s a mission at hand. As Coulson explains to Skye, they’ll be heading out to check in with the telekinetic. He wants Skye to pay attention to how this is done properly. He’s referring of course to her laughable awful attempt with Mike back in the Pilot episode.

This asset retrieval process can be touchy because their telekinetic, Hannah, is probably in denial, like most of the assets Coulson has encountered. FitzSimmons spout off their trademark science/techy lingo, this time in regards to how they’ll confirm Hannah’s powers. I may have a simple BA but I’m pretty sure if things start flying at you when she’s around, it’s a solid indicator of telekinesis.

This Week’s Once Upon A Time In Wonderland Wonders “Who’s Alice”

Originally published on PopWrapped.  22 November 2013.

Previously on Wonderland, Alice was fooled, if only a little bit, by the Red Queen who proved she still has a heart and it still beats, however faintly, for our beloved Knave of Hearts. Also Cyrus escaped and Jafar coerced the Rabbit into digging to London. But most importantly, Will was revived from his stony sleep. Hooray! 

Tonight opens on an Englishman painting in the countryside. He’s suddenly showered with dirt when Jafar and the White Rabbit burst from a hole in the ground. Quite the entrance, I must say. The Englishman, to his credit, is unfazed but curious as to whom the sorcerer and the animated rabbit are. He gives them directions to the Asylum and in return, Jafar takes his suit.

In the Asylum we get the return of Bald Doctor! He’s taking some laudanum when a dapper Jafar, posing as a doctor himself, pops in to have a chat about a certain blond hair, blue-eyed patient. Bald Doctor tries to play dumb but Jafar knows all about him seeing the Rabbit. A quick glimpse of the bunny makes the doc ready to spill all he knows about Alice.

Queenie pays a visit to Cyrus’ empty cage. She’s curious about the genie having fled and Jafar being missing as well. Luckily, or not, the Old Man is still present in his cage to explain that Jafar is gone and Cyrus is on the run. Queenie will never catch him though because the genie has the most powerful magic of all: True Love. Only 5 minutes in and already this show is covered in sap.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 308: ‘Think Lovely Thoughts’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  18 November 2013.

In an incredibly surprising turn of events, there is once again forward momentum on Once Upon a Time! Henry’s family even finds the kid and we get a nice bit of background for my beloved Rumplestiltskin. Sadly, “Think Lovely Thoughts” is also so packed with contrivances it dulls the otherwise tasty plot developments.

Everything from Pan’s origin story (especially the source of his name) to Henry’s inexplicable stupidity made me cringe, dear Oncers. But still we carry on, so let’s begin with a flashback, shall we?

A card hustler gets beaten up and robbed after swindling one too many customers. His son tries to intervene with the help of his adorable eyes and precious Scottish accent but it’s no use. Dad is a deadbeat for poor baby Rumple.

In Neverland, Pan reminds Henry that saving magic will save Wendy and everyone else. Henry, clearly being driven by hormones and a childish fantasy to be the hero like in his fairytale book, says he’s ready to do his duty.

Thankfully two members of his family still have some sense. Regina and Rumple make their way toward Pan’s camp. The Queen pays her master a compliment, saying, “You know despite our differences I can always count on you to get things done. Which is more than I can say for them.” She means the Charmings of course and dang is she right. Ten minutes with Rumple and they had an artifact to take down Pan.

Seven weeks (for us) with the Charmings and all they got was a very convoluted plan. But back to their conversation. Regina brings up Neal, which Rumple doesn’t want to talk about. Good choice really because once she finds out you rescued her son and then let him get recaptured, your little alliance will be fireballed to hell.

We flashback again to see Rumple’s dad dropping him off with two spinner ladies. The boy doesn’t want to leave his Papa so to cheer him up, Dad gives him the going-to-be-important later-on wicker doll. Then Papa runs out of the cottage before he son’s even given the doll a name.

Neverland. Charmings and Co head towards Pan’s camp and Snow confesses to Emma that she’ll stay on the island with her hubby. Emma is skeptical about how easily Mom gave up on finding a solution to this problem. She fails to mention or even think that her newfound magic powers could be helpful but Emma says she’s giving up. But that’s what we have Regina and Rumple for and luckily the duo stumble upon everyone else.

Neal ruins this happy reunion by spilling the beans about the prophecy. Everyone takes a dramatic step back from Rumple and draws their weapons. The Dark One looks exasperated while different members of his complicated family accuse him of trying to kill the kid. Everyone including Hook is ready to defend Henry. Rumple (and I) rolls his eyes at their stupidity. Commercial.

This Weeks Once Upon A Time In Wonderland Has A “Heart Of Stone”

Originally published on PopWrapped.  15 November 2013.

Previously on Wonderland the best character on the show was turned to stone and Alice made absolutely no progress toward finding her true love. Also the Red Queen did a terrible job hiding her secret past with Will but a good job being divided between evil ex and regretful ex. So this week we see which one Queenie decides to be, Cyrus takes escaping Jafar into his own hands and we get more delicious details about Will and Anastasia.

Flashback to right when Will and Anastasia are getting ready to leap into Wonderland. Her mom bursts in to ruin everything with her disappointed face and verbal abuse. In addition to calling Will a loser, she also labels her own daughter as a failure. She’d had high hopes for Anastasia to be a princess but would have settled for the girl marrying a nobleman. Guess a prince of thieves isn’t good enough. Will promises that he’ll build a life for them in Wonderland and that he’ll always love her. It’s enough for Anastasia and the pair jump.

Present day Wonderland. Alice covers Stone Will with a shawl in case of rain or snow or bird poop. She is feeling guilty for tricking Jafar with her wish thus causing Will’s current state. Still, she clings to the hope that if she can find Cyrus he can help. Queenie can help her there! She’s willing to make a deal with Alice: she’ll trade info about Cyrus’ whereabouts for some hard to find magic dust. Alice stubbornly refuses this offer until she realizes the Queen is right; she has no other options.

In Cyrus’ Pit of Despair, his companion prisoner has been brought back from his day of slave labor. Cyrus promises to free them both today.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 307: ‘Dark Hollow’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  11 November 2013.

An incredible thing happened in “Dark Hollow” on this week’s Once Upon a Time. There was actual progress toward the goal of finding Henry. Things literally happened instead of just more stagnant set up. The plan to get off the island after rescuing Henry is set, Emma makes a choice between her suitors, Ariel proves surprisingly useful and much more fun than in her titular episode, and we learn who Pan is keeping locked up in a wooden cage. Also, Belle and Storybrooke remain awesome and far more interesting than the Neverland lot. So let’s swoop in to “Dark Hollow…”

Just five days ago in the Once universe, Belle said goodbye to her true love. This scene it’s just as touching as the first time. I miss this pairing so much. While she tearfully watches the Jolly Roger disappear, the rest of the town runs up to celebrate having been saved. Belle shuts them up by saying Greg and Tamara took Henry and producing the cloaking spell for the Blue Fairy to examine.

On the road to Storybrooke, a red convertible carrying some Hipsters approaches. (Seriously, that’s not the beginning of a joke.)

The Storybrooke crew reminds us all why we love them by being both sweetly naïve (Archie) and git er’ done (Grumpy). To wit, as they head into the mines to get some fairy dust for the spell, Grumpy says to his brothers, “No time for whistling boys. Let’s get swinging.” With some dust freed up, Belle pours the vial Rumple gave her and a magical dome begins covering the town. The convertible speeds up to beat the closing barrier and they do, leaving their bumper behind.

In Neverland, Rumple draws a map to Storybrooke and enchants a sand dollar for Ariel to give to Belle. This way he doesn’t have to say their plan out loud and risk Pan hearing them. Finally, we’re using our clever brain, Mr. Gold! The mermaid just wants Eric but Regina is teaching her the value of patience and bargaining so she’ll have to wait.

Pan’s camp. The little stinker can feel that someone is leaving the island. Felix is all concerned about it but Pan just tells him to contact their men in Storybrooke. Also acting super laidback for no reason is Neal. In the Camp of the Twisted Family Tree, he says his big mysterious way to leave the island is hitching a ride with Pan’s shadow and Neal knows just where to catch the evil spirit.

At the Storybrooke beach, the dwarves speak for all of us when they agree that though the love Snow and Charming, “it’s kind of nice not having them around.” They’re of course referring to the lack of killings, wars or beasties since the couple has been gone. I’m referring to the aggravating lovey-dovey idiocy of the duo. Anyway, Grumpy doesn’t like the dissenting talk amongst his comrades, saying everything will be “normal” when the Prince and Snow come back. Grumpy’s brand of normal suddenly appears out in the water as Ariel puts on her magical bracelet and walks onto the beach. She’s looking for Belle but someone else is looking for her. Yes, the Evil (British) Hipsters are spying on her and they’ve received word from the home office to make sure she never leaves Storybrooke. Commercial.

Meet “The Serpent” On This Week’s Once Upon A Time In Wonderland

Originally published on PopWrapped.  8 November 2013.

After a weeklong break we’re finally back to the topsy-turvy world of Wonderland. Alice still searches for her beloved Cyrus but her Knavish friend is looking for a long-lost love as well: The Red Queen aka Anastasia. When their paths finally cross, you better believe heads will roll. Except not really because even though the villains effectively capture their prey, they do almost nothing to them and even freely let them go. We do lose a beloved character though and get some juicy scenes between my new Wonderland OTP: Will and the Red Queen. Also, we learn via icky hookups and daddy issues that Wonderland’s writers have been watching way too much Game of Thrones. So without much further ado, “The Serpent.”

We begin many years ago in Agrabah. A blacksmith beats and yells at his slave boy for taking too long with some coal. The boy cowers and as much as I want this to be little Aladdin, it’s pretty clear right away that this is young Jafar. He’s also pretty ballsy because when everyone else in the market turns away from a beautiful sorceress who wanders through, Jafar stares straight at her. He follows her later to her door where he begs her to teach him dark magic. He wants people to fear him like they do her and he wants revenge on the Sultan. Jafar is supposedly the Sultan’s son but was cast out for being a bastard and now he wants some payback. Whoa this got Game of Thrones-y real quick. Credits.

In the Red Queen’s palace, Jafar materializes with some new perfectly coiffed hair. He’s perturbed that she didn’t tell him about the Knave but she brushes it off. The Knave coming with Alice wasn’t intentional but he was helpful in getting the girl to Wonderland. Now that he’s served his purpose though, Jafar is ready to eliminate him. Judging by the look on her face, the Red Queen might have some issues with that.

Hey speaking of issues, Will and Alice are arguing again, now about the Red Queen and the White Rabbit. Will wants to fool the Rabbit into telling them everything but Alice would rather hold the bunny over a cliff. Some debt collectors sent by the Caterpillar interrupt their exhaustingly boring bickering. When Alice stupidly asks what they should do, Will quips, “Well basically we could die or we could run.” Running quickly turns to Will volunteering as a distraction to lead the Collectors away from Alice, which works quite well.

While his love plays hide and seek in the forest, Cyrus grovels in his cage for a scrap of food. Even a bone would suffice, he pleads. A guard takes pity, for…reasons. But Cyrus didn’t want the food after all, just the wishbone.

Back to the forest, Will is feeling pretty proud of himself for evading the Collectors until he sees that they have all been knocked out. The Red Queen appears to greet her old lover.

In Agrabah, grown up Jafar is being happily entertained by the stories of his goat herder. After giving the man some wine in thanks for his hard work, Jafar goes indoors to complain to Mistress Dark Sorceress about wanting to learn the spells in her book (if you know what I mean). This includes a spell that requires a human liver… which she’s just procured for them from Jafar’s goat herder friend, who is slowly being poisoned by the wine. Mistress Dark Sorceress gives Jafar a creepy analogy about them being like snakes who need to shed their skin and asks him if he’s ready to be reborn. Just as Jafar sets down the poison’s antidote, the man dies. Dark Sorceress #1 congratulates Jafar on being reborn and they celebrate by making out. So many levels of ewewewewew!

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 306: ‘Ariel’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  5 November 2013.

I have to tell you Oncers, I’m starting to worry about our magical show. We spend yet another episode in Neverland and seem to get very little accomplished once again toward the goal of rescuing Henry (who doesn’t even appear in “Ariel” though that might be an improvement really). We do however get confirmation yet again that Regina is the best character (and actress) on Once and that Rumple hasn’t completely lost his ability to put together a deal or a plan. Oh and of course, there’s Ariel, whose flashback story is really somewhat pointless until the plot at then end calls for her.

So we start in the old Enchanted Forest where Snow White is running away from Regina’s guards.  She skids to a halt at a cliff overlooking the ocean but then takes a daring leap into the waters where she is recued by a red-headed mermaid, Ariel.

In Neverland, Regina is pushing Emma to concentrate to use her magic. Ms. Savior doesn’t want to use her anger as a trigger, which makes sense since she was about to use love every other time but she apparently doesn’t remember that. See, Rumple, this is why they need you. The Queen is disgusted with Emma’s reluctance, saying, “You’re such a pathetic waste of ability.” This fires up Emma’s temper and the campfire she was trying to magic.

Regina is pleased while Emma’s parents are trying not to be too mortified. They get a nice bit of distraction from Hook who, in a show of surprising honesty, tells them about Neal. While the men agree that not telling Emma until they’re sure about Neal’s alive or dead state, Snow feels uncomfortable lying to her daughter. Personally, I think she should embrace this opportunity to make up for missed chances to lie to her kid about things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Ariel and Snow gab about boys. Seems the mermaid fell in love at first sight with land-Prince Eric when she saved him from a shipwreck a year ago. She also reveals that she’s got plans for a night on two legs by lifts her fins onto the land where they transform. Apparently, the sea witch Ursula grants mermaids the ability to have legs for 12 hours every high tide and this one coincides with Ursula’s Ball, which Eric will attend.

Neverland. The Charmings and Hook are trying to make a getaway from the camp but their poor planning makes Emma suspicious. So Snow just blurts it out: Neal’s alive.

After commercial, we get some quality time with Rumple, who is struggling to see into future. Then Pan pops up to offer him some breakfast and inform the dealmaker that he can’t see the future in a place where time stands still. Duh. He tells Rumple to just leave the island because even if he saved Neal and Henry no one will forgive him for all the evil he’s done. Go back to Belle and make a new start, Pan advises.

While Rumple contemplates his cowardice, the company is arguing about looking for Neal. Regina, once again speaking for the audience, says, “This is a waste of time.” Snow tells Emma that she owes it to Henry and herself to find out if Neal’s alive but the Queen is fed up with making no progress on finding their son. She goes off on her own while everyone else heads off to find Neal. They better hurry too because as Pan and Felix watch them from afar, it’s decided to move the captive Neal to the Echo Cave.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ – Ep. 305: ‘Good Form’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  28 October 2013.

So Oncers it’s time for our weekly journey in Neverland. But this time we get a little spice in our bland Once soup with the story of Killain Jones, a good sailor gone pirate. Just like everyone, his heart was broken with grief and guilt so he went to the Dark (and roguishly handsome) Side. But a certain Savior might be melting his cold, buccaneer heart after all, as evidence by that hot and way over publicized kiss. Oh also, Henry is still with the Lost Boys and Neal is, well…

Neal is in an even worse state than when we ended last week. He gets chucked into a wooden cage by the Lost Boys and is promptly forgotten for the rest of the episode.

Back in Camp Pan, a boy literally pokes Henry with a stick to make him fight back with a conveniently available wooden sword. Pan steps in to prompt Henry to believe he’s holding a real sword and TA-DA! It works! Then Henry gets carried away and cuts the Lost Boy’s cheek but don’t worry. The best thing about being a Lost Boy is you never have to apologize.

As Henry enjoys applause for his use of violence, his family is still in Neal’s cave looking for the key to his secret star map. Emma sees that Neal stopped counting his days on the island not because he left but because he lost hope. Even Hook gravelly-voiced reassurances don’t quell her concerns for Henry. She says it’s time they “take a page from Pan and start being clever.” Why wasn’t this Plan A?

Having seen Hook putting the moves on Emma with his sensitive side, Charming goes into protective dad mode and tells the scallywag to lay off. Emma will never like him because he’s a pirate.

Whoa, hold there Charming. Just-a-pirate Hook used to be a leftenant in the British navy who didn’t tolerate bad form on his ship. Rather, his Captain/brother’s ship. They and the crew are heading out under secret orders, a “mission of [their] dreams” that will bring glory to the Jones family.

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland Says “Forget Me Not” In This Week’s Episode

Originally published on PopWrapped.  25 October 2013.

Oh Wonders, we’re back again for another jaunt through Wonderland or in the case of this episode, Underland. Alice remains steadfast in her search for Cyrus just as Will remains the most entertaining part of this show. The writers apparently predicted this because tonight’s episode is all about our beloved Knave. We get some juicy info on his thieving past and the Anastasia who broke his heart (Spoilers: It’s not Disney’s Anastasia). We also get a well-publicized cameo from Once’s blonde Robin Hood.

This episode is a fun one especially since it focuses so much on Will and so little on Alice. Also, Jafar doesn’t look quite so ridiculous (although next week’s previews show an unfortunate change in hair style). So, let’s jump in to Once Upon a Time in Wonderland’s “Forget Me Not.”

“A few years ago,” as the title reads, a horse drawn carriage stops to help some screaming men in the roadway. A man is down with a broken leg and as they tend to him, someone else silently drops from the sky and snags the carriage’s loot. Later Robin Hood congratulates his Merry Men on a fine ruse and they welcome the man who snagged to the loot as their newest member: Will Scarlet aka The Knave of Hearts.

In present day Wonderland, Will thinks it’s safer for he and Alice to split up but she thinks they should stay together. Turns out she’s right because he has the idea to seek out the Forget-me-knot. This magical item when held over any area will show what last happened there. It would show them who dug up Cyrus’ bottle and give them something to do considering right now they’re just wandering around.

In Cyrus’ Cave of Woes, Jafar and the Red Queen are having a feast while the genie looks on. Jafar taunts him with Alice’s paper crane and utters the words Wonderland has been dancing around for two weeks now:  “Magic always comes with a price.” Tonight’s price will be forcing Alice to make her first wish.

Will and Alice arrive at the Caterpillars abode. He’s the one with the Forget-me-knot and a bounty on Will’s head. No biggie, the Knave assures Alice. This Underland is his world. Everything will be fine! Yeah. The pair have been in this Underland for barely a minute when they’re held at sword and dagger point. But the Caterpillar, not fancying his Knave skewered, bids them approach his smoking couch.

They try to work out a deal with Mr. Caterpillar, who slimily suggests Alice as the form of Will’s payment toward his debt. Anyone else having Jabba the Hutt with Han and Leia thoughts here? Anyway, Alice uses her smarts to deduce that the Caterpillar doesn’t have the Knot but he does know where it is: with the Grendel. The new deal is they retrieve the knot, bring it and Will’s debt is paid. Bonus for the Caterpillar is if Will tries to keep the magical item, his head gets to become the newest pretty decoration on the Caterpillar’s desk. Win-win-win.