TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 311: ‘Go Home’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  16 December 2013.

It has been a very long and exhausting(ly boring) half a season of Once Upon a Time, Oncers. But we made it! We braved the Neverland forest of perpetual setbacks and sides stories. We survived the onslaught of emotional baggage from everyone from the unusual suspects (Snow & Charming) to we-expect-better-from-you characters (Rumple).

We even managed to stay tuned in while a slew of new faces joined this entirely too large cast and enjoyed some (Ariel) while questioning the purpose of others (Tink). So now, Peter Pan’s twisted tale comes to a close, Rumple finds his courage and Emma gets to change her mind about a life-altering decision. Time for us all to go home…

Felix and fake Pan drop random vials of magic from Regina’s vault into Storybrooke’s well. But as we all recall, in order for the curse to work you have to supply the heart of the thing you love most. For Pan it’s not Rumple but Felix (a friendship/loyalty kind of love, just so we’re clear). The Lost Boy isn’t so sure about this plan and can’t we talk about this…Nope. He heart is ripped out and crushed into the well.

This is all while Gold is explaining to the main cast that the new curse will follow Pan’s evil machinations, just like the old curse did Regina’s. The solution is twofold: First, switch Pan and Henry back to their bodies, which requires the Black Fairy’s wand. Second, get the scroll back and Regina can cancel the new curse. A plan in place the team breaks their huddle while green smoke billows up from the well. Credits.

In the first of far too many flashbacks this evening, Blue reassures Charming and Snow that their daughter will be the Savior and everything will be peachy. For two people who also spout this kind of gushy optimism, they are unfairly grouchy about the fairy’s blanket optimism. However it does give Charming the chance to speak the episode’s tagline: Happy endings aren’t always what we expect.

In Gold’s shop, Snow reminisces with Emma over her old mobile. The two bond further over having both tried to do what was best for their kid by sending them away. In more important news, Rumple is nearly ready to perform the switchback spell as soon as he gets the Black Fairy’s wand. Tink, Neal, Hook and Charming are working on that at the church, where the Blue Fairy’s body is laid out for mourners. Looking to pay his respects, the Shadow swoops in upon the Wand Retrieval Unit. Commercial.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 310: ‘The New Neverland’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  9 December 2013.

We are nearly at the end of this incredibly long (for us anyway) Neverland journey Oncers. Our heroes and some villains have returned to Storybrooke to reunite with all of the secondary character we know, love and miss. But of course, that wily Peter Pan keeps up his scheming even while trapped in Henry baby faced, yet suddenly much taller, body.

The episode opens on the quaint town of Storybrooke where nothing strange happens as long as everyone important is away. Belle takes Ariel to the docks where the mermaid instantly locks lips with hunky fisherman Eric. It feels appropriate to again point out that these two knew each for literally three minutes. But this is all just set up for the Jolly Roger to appear in the sky and swoop toward the dock. Credits.

The whole town has instantly gathered to applaud the arrival of the people they earlier said they didn’t actually miss. While everyone else gets hugs and kisses, Regina stands all alone. Snow throws her a well-deserved bone by saying for all to hear that they made it back because of the Queen.

Flashback to Regina interrupting the Charming wedding from the Pilot episode. After the ceremony, Snow is angry as hell about her big day being disturbed. Charming says the real way to stick it to Regina is to enjoy their honeymoon as soon as possible and I think we all know what’s really on his mind. The newlyweds share a genuinely cute scene together where Charming steals a kiss and I’m reminded that sometimes these two actually have on screen chemistry. Snow chooses the Summer Palace as their destination, later revealing privately to Grumpy that there’s something there that can help them defeat Regina.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 309: ‘Save Henry’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  2 December 2013.

It’s been two weeks since the last episode of Once Upon a Time but, just like this entire half season, it’s felt much longer. Just in case you forgot, last time on Once, Henry stopped using his brain and gave Pan his heart. The little snot is now on the path to immortality and phenomenal cosmic power! (Itty bitty living space to come later.)

Oh and because the Once family tree wasn’t weird enough, Pan is Rumple’s crappy father and also trapped him in Pandora’s Box. This week, Henry’s heart-lessness is resolved rather speedily, Regina remembers her maternal roots and out mothers both Emma and Snow, and Pan proves his much more than a one trick pony.

We start with a flashback to the Enchanted Forest. The curse is billowing toward the castle and Regina poofs into the dungeon where Rumple’s being held. She’s come to gloat about having cast the curse, which really makes no sense because he egged her on to do it. He just wants to pour salt in the open wound that is Regina killing her father to cast the curse.

As always, the Queen is masking her pain with swagger, saying she feels invincible even in the face of Rumple’s revelation about the Charmings’ savoir baby. He gets in one last dig before she skips off to gloat over Snow. “There’s a hole in your heart and someday you will come to me to fill it,” he sneers. Credits.

Henry’s mixed up family is trying to revive the boy, which is proving difficult because his heart is soaring off with Pan right about now.

Eleven years ago, Regina was facing a different tumultuous situation. She reveals to therapist Archie that she’s “feeling nothing.” Even a cricket turned psychiatrist can figure out it’s because the Queen Mayor is lonely. When Regina mentions she didn’t feel that aching emptiness when little boy Owen was around, Archie suggests she look into adopting a child.

Logically this means going to speak with Mr. Gold. Upon being asked to help Regina get a child: “Well I’m flattered but uninterested.” I love these two so much.

Gold agrees to help her find a child but cautions her that just because she wants a child, doesn’t mean she’s ready to have one. Nice PSA Once! Parents have to put their kids first, he reminds her, and selflessness has never been Regina’s strong suit.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 308: ‘Think Lovely Thoughts’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  18 November 2013.

In an incredibly surprising turn of events, there is once again forward momentum on Once Upon a Time! Henry’s family even finds the kid and we get a nice bit of background for my beloved Rumplestiltskin. Sadly, “Think Lovely Thoughts” is also so packed with contrivances it dulls the otherwise tasty plot developments.

Everything from Pan’s origin story (especially the source of his name) to Henry’s inexplicable stupidity made me cringe, dear Oncers. But still we carry on, so let’s begin with a flashback, shall we?

A card hustler gets beaten up and robbed after swindling one too many customers. His son tries to intervene with the help of his adorable eyes and precious Scottish accent but it’s no use. Dad is a deadbeat for poor baby Rumple.

In Neverland, Pan reminds Henry that saving magic will save Wendy and everyone else. Henry, clearly being driven by hormones and a childish fantasy to be the hero like in his fairytale book, says he’s ready to do his duty.

Thankfully two members of his family still have some sense. Regina and Rumple make their way toward Pan’s camp. The Queen pays her master a compliment, saying, “You know despite our differences I can always count on you to get things done. Which is more than I can say for them.” She means the Charmings of course and dang is she right. Ten minutes with Rumple and they had an artifact to take down Pan.

Seven weeks (for us) with the Charmings and all they got was a very convoluted plan. But back to their conversation. Regina brings up Neal, which Rumple doesn’t want to talk about. Good choice really because once she finds out you rescued her son and then let him get recaptured, your little alliance will be fireballed to hell.

We flashback again to see Rumple’s dad dropping him off with two spinner ladies. The boy doesn’t want to leave his Papa so to cheer him up, Dad gives him the going-to-be-important later-on wicker doll. Then Papa runs out of the cottage before he son’s even given the doll a name.

Neverland. Charmings and Co head towards Pan’s camp and Snow confesses to Emma that she’ll stay on the island with her hubby. Emma is skeptical about how easily Mom gave up on finding a solution to this problem. She fails to mention or even think that her newfound magic powers could be helpful but Emma says she’s giving up. But that’s what we have Regina and Rumple for and luckily the duo stumble upon everyone else.

Neal ruins this happy reunion by spilling the beans about the prophecy. Everyone takes a dramatic step back from Rumple and draws their weapons. The Dark One looks exasperated while different members of his complicated family accuse him of trying to kill the kid. Everyone including Hook is ready to defend Henry. Rumple (and I) rolls his eyes at their stupidity. Commercial.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 307: ‘Dark Hollow’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  11 November 2013.

An incredible thing happened in “Dark Hollow” on this week’s Once Upon a Time. There was actual progress toward the goal of finding Henry. Things literally happened instead of just more stagnant set up. The plan to get off the island after rescuing Henry is set, Emma makes a choice between her suitors, Ariel proves surprisingly useful and much more fun than in her titular episode, and we learn who Pan is keeping locked up in a wooden cage. Also, Belle and Storybrooke remain awesome and far more interesting than the Neverland lot. So let’s swoop in to “Dark Hollow…”

Just five days ago in the Once universe, Belle said goodbye to her true love. This scene it’s just as touching as the first time. I miss this pairing so much. While she tearfully watches the Jolly Roger disappear, the rest of the town runs up to celebrate having been saved. Belle shuts them up by saying Greg and Tamara took Henry and producing the cloaking spell for the Blue Fairy to examine.

On the road to Storybrooke, a red convertible carrying some Hipsters approaches. (Seriously, that’s not the beginning of a joke.)

The Storybrooke crew reminds us all why we love them by being both sweetly naïve (Archie) and git er’ done (Grumpy). To wit, as they head into the mines to get some fairy dust for the spell, Grumpy says to his brothers, “No time for whistling boys. Let’s get swinging.” With some dust freed up, Belle pours the vial Rumple gave her and a magical dome begins covering the town. The convertible speeds up to beat the closing barrier and they do, leaving their bumper behind.

In Neverland, Rumple draws a map to Storybrooke and enchants a sand dollar for Ariel to give to Belle. This way he doesn’t have to say their plan out loud and risk Pan hearing them. Finally, we’re using our clever brain, Mr. Gold! The mermaid just wants Eric but Regina is teaching her the value of patience and bargaining so she’ll have to wait.

Pan’s camp. The little stinker can feel that someone is leaving the island. Felix is all concerned about it but Pan just tells him to contact their men in Storybrooke. Also acting super laidback for no reason is Neal. In the Camp of the Twisted Family Tree, he says his big mysterious way to leave the island is hitching a ride with Pan’s shadow and Neal knows just where to catch the evil spirit.

At the Storybrooke beach, the dwarves speak for all of us when they agree that though the love Snow and Charming, “it’s kind of nice not having them around.” They’re of course referring to the lack of killings, wars or beasties since the couple has been gone. I’m referring to the aggravating lovey-dovey idiocy of the duo. Anyway, Grumpy doesn’t like the dissenting talk amongst his comrades, saying everything will be “normal” when the Prince and Snow come back. Grumpy’s brand of normal suddenly appears out in the water as Ariel puts on her magical bracelet and walks onto the beach. She’s looking for Belle but someone else is looking for her. Yes, the Evil (British) Hipsters are spying on her and they’ve received word from the home office to make sure she never leaves Storybrooke. Commercial.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ Ep. 306: ‘Ariel’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  5 November 2013.

I have to tell you Oncers, I’m starting to worry about our magical show. We spend yet another episode in Neverland and seem to get very little accomplished once again toward the goal of rescuing Henry (who doesn’t even appear in “Ariel” though that might be an improvement really). We do however get confirmation yet again that Regina is the best character (and actress) on Once and that Rumple hasn’t completely lost his ability to put together a deal or a plan. Oh and of course, there’s Ariel, whose flashback story is really somewhat pointless until the plot at then end calls for her.

So we start in the old Enchanted Forest where Snow White is running away from Regina’s guards.  She skids to a halt at a cliff overlooking the ocean but then takes a daring leap into the waters where she is recued by a red-headed mermaid, Ariel.

In Neverland, Regina is pushing Emma to concentrate to use her magic. Ms. Savior doesn’t want to use her anger as a trigger, which makes sense since she was about to use love every other time but she apparently doesn’t remember that. See, Rumple, this is why they need you. The Queen is disgusted with Emma’s reluctance, saying, “You’re such a pathetic waste of ability.” This fires up Emma’s temper and the campfire she was trying to magic.

Regina is pleased while Emma’s parents are trying not to be too mortified. They get a nice bit of distraction from Hook who, in a show of surprising honesty, tells them about Neal. While the men agree that not telling Emma until they’re sure about Neal’s alive or dead state, Snow feels uncomfortable lying to her daughter. Personally, I think she should embrace this opportunity to make up for missed chances to lie to her kid about things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Ariel and Snow gab about boys. Seems the mermaid fell in love at first sight with land-Prince Eric when she saved him from a shipwreck a year ago. She also reveals that she’s got plans for a night on two legs by lifts her fins onto the land where they transform. Apparently, the sea witch Ursula grants mermaids the ability to have legs for 12 hours every high tide and this one coincides with Ursula’s Ball, which Eric will attend.

Neverland. The Charmings and Hook are trying to make a getaway from the camp but their poor planning makes Emma suspicious. So Snow just blurts it out: Neal’s alive.

After commercial, we get some quality time with Rumple, who is struggling to see into future. Then Pan pops up to offer him some breakfast and inform the dealmaker that he can’t see the future in a place where time stands still. Duh. He tells Rumple to just leave the island because even if he saved Neal and Henry no one will forgive him for all the evil he’s done. Go back to Belle and make a new start, Pan advises.

While Rumple contemplates his cowardice, the company is arguing about looking for Neal. Regina, once again speaking for the audience, says, “This is a waste of time.” Snow tells Emma that she owes it to Henry and herself to find out if Neal’s alive but the Queen is fed up with making no progress on finding their son. She goes off on her own while everyone else heads off to find Neal. They better hurry too because as Pan and Felix watch them from afar, it’s decided to move the captive Neal to the Echo Cave.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ – Ep. 303: ‘Quite an Uncommon Fairy’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  14 October 2013.

A big new character debuts tonight but will she be the cute, charming Tinker Bell that lights up the Disney castle or the snotty one who nearly got Wendy and Peter killed? Let’s find out Oncers…

Our company once again traipses through the woods. Charming is struggling to keep up and Snow teases him, “David Nolan let himself go?” Just as they’re getting close to the camp, as indicated by the map, it moves. As the bickering about what to do next starts up, Hook helpfully suggests they seek out a fairy he knew in Neverland. She might be able to help them find Henry/take care of Pan.

The leader of the Lost Boys is currently waking up Henry with the offering of an apple. Henry refuses the treat. “It’s a family thing,” he says. But Pan only wants him to use it for target practice. Henry is egged on to shoot a poisoned arrow at an apple on Felix’s head. He wisely tries to shoot Pan instead, who deftly catches the arrow and looks rather pleased with Henry’s decision.

Cut to the Dark Castle where Neal is frantically looking for something to use to make a portal to Neverland. He deduces that Henry must be the boy Pan was looking for all that time ago. The loud rummaging has summoned Robin Hood’s men, including Little John. He shows up with Robin’s son in tow and Neal suddenly has an idea.

We flashback to the Enchanted Forest from long ago where Rumple interrupts Regina’s lunch. She missed her lesson today and is thinking of giving up on them altogether. A future like Rumple’s doesn’t appeal to her and she’s already most of the way there. She’s unhappy with her marriage and everything else in her life. He insists she keep up with her learning dark magic before vanishing. In a fit of frustration, Regina she bangs on the balcony railing, which gives way. She plummets towards the ground but a cloud of magical dust catches her. She’s just been saved by Tinker Bell.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ – Ep. 302: ‘Lost Girl’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  8 October 2013.

Well Oncers, this was an episode with a lot of things I cannot stand (Snow and Charming’s gushy optimism) but also some things that I absolutely adore (Rumbelle and Hook’s everything). Read on and let me know what you thought.

We start with Rumple building himself a cozy campfire using his magic. Then he makes quick work of hacking off his shadow using his Dark One dagger. Once his shadow is loose, he gives it his dagger to hide from everyone including himself but mostly Pan.

While Rumple continues on his own, the Storybrooke 5 are tromping through the brush. Regina again establishes her place as the most objective and snarkiest of the lot. “You know, I could’ve just poofed us up here in an instant.” So true Evil Queen, but Hook insists it is safer to travel on foot. Safe from the poisoned thorns that Charming really wants to cut through? Guess they can just take the long way ‘round.

Emma and Snow have an awkward talk about the fact that Emma still calls her mom “Mary Margaret.” Snow suggests “Mom,” Once audiences suggest “Snow,” but Emma thinks the former should be saved for life or death situations and the former for never. So Mary Margaret it is then?

We again hear about Peter Pan’s wickedness from Hook, who says he’s the most treacherous villain. The company comes to a cliff (maybe the same one as Henry from last episode) and stare at the Dark Forest below. Time to make camp and head for the forest tomorrow.

Now we get our first Fairytale flashback in season three. Charming has just kissed Snow awake from her poisoned slumber and the Queen is peeved. Snow tries to drum up an army among villagers with little success, especially after Regina comes along to threaten everyone. She also offers a deal: Snow gives up the throne and the land and she can go with Charming (and the Dwarves) back to the faux prince’s farm. “You may have been a princess but you will never be a Queen,” Regina says.

TV RECAP: ‘Once Upon a Time’ – Ep. 301: ‘Heart of the Truest Believer’

Originally published on The Flickcast.  1 October 2013.

Hey Oncers, it’s finally that time again. Let’s get started.

We begin with a flashback to Henry’s birth, which is emotional and painful (for viewers and for Emma). At least Jennifer Morrison has plenty of experience with this kind of thing. Emma doesn’t even want to hold baby Henry but just wait 11 years Chosen One and you’ll be falling through a magic portal on board a pirate ship to rescue your son from Peter Pan.

That’s where we pick up in present day, with the Jolly Roger splashing into Neverland waters. Meanwhile the boy in question lands in the sand with Greg and Tamara in tow. Henry tells the annoying duo that both of his moms and all of his extended family are coming to find him. Greg and Tamara are unimpressed, which makes sense since this same top notch family were unable to prevent them from easily taking the kid in the first place.

They try to phone the home office but their communicator is chock full of sand. Henry switches tactics and plants seeds of doubt regarding this mysterious “home office.” Greg doesn’t take the bait but Tamara isn’t so sure. Her suspicions are confirmed when they run into the Lost Boys, who apparently are the home office.