Previously on Wonderland the best character on the show was turned to stone and Alice made absolutely no progress toward finding her true love. Also the Red Queen did a terrible job hiding her secret past with Will but a good job being divided between evil ex and regretful ex. So this week we see which one Queenie decides to be, Cyrus takes escaping Jafar into his own hands and we get more delicious details about Will and Anastasia.
Flashback to right when Will and Anastasia are getting ready to leap into Wonderland. Her mom bursts in to ruin everything with her disappointed face and verbal abuse. In addition to calling Will a loser, she also labels her own daughter as a failure. She’d had high hopes for Anastasia to be a princess but would have settled for the girl marrying a nobleman. Guess a prince of thieves isn’t good enough. Will promises that he’ll build a life for them in Wonderland and that he’ll always love her. It’s enough for Anastasia and the pair jump.
Present day Wonderland. Alice covers Stone Will with a shawl in case of rain or snow or bird poop. She is feeling guilty for tricking Jafar with her wish thus causing Will’s current state. Still, she clings to the hope that if she can find Cyrus he can help. Queenie can help her there! She’s willing to make a deal with Alice: she’ll trade info about Cyrus’ whereabouts for some hard to find magic dust. Alice stubbornly refuses this offer until she realizes the Queen is right; she has no other options.
In Cyrus’ Pit of Despair, his companion prisoner has been brought back from his day of slave labor. Cyrus promises to free them both today.
Flashback. Will and Anastasia scrounge for food, nearly eating a mushroom that would make them bigger. A cart filled with food clatters past on its way to the palace and Anastasia suggests they crash the party. Will is reluctant but the thought of his beloved in a fine dress makes him change his mind.
Queenie and Alice travel by carriage to the dark place the magic dust is housed. Alice still vows vengeance for Cyrus’ imprisonment but Queenie is dismissive. She and Alice are more alike than the girl would care to admit. They all come to Wonderland searching for something, she says, and in their case, it’s something they don’t have. When Alice questions what the Queen could possibly not have, her majesty replies, “There are some things that all the wealth and power can’t get you.”
Back in Jafar’s prison, the old man plays Yinzin to Cyrus’ Tony Stark by telling him the specs for the lair. The genie finishes using his wishbone to cut through his cage and kicks out the bottom. The incredible noise, which surely echoes due to the giant pit beneath them, remarkably doesn’t attract any guards. Cyrus swings his cage to and fro. Then he gymnastics his way out of it and takes out a guard who wandered in and pushes him down the pit. A bit harsh, don’t you think? Dude’s just doing his job.
Meanwhile, Tweedlesomeone brings the White Rabbit to Jafar because the sorcerer wants to offer him a deal too: tell Jafar everything about Alice and he’ll make the Rabbit square with the Red Queen. Commercial.
Alice and Queenie arrive at the location of the dust. It’s across a massive ravine, which has no bridge and no magic is allowed. Luckily, a nearby plaque says, “Only in a leap from the lion’s head will he prove his worth.” No, it says that someone with a pure heart can make the leap but seriously, same thing.
Flashback. Anastasia and Will arrive at the palace party decked out in very fine threads. He heads over to gorge himself on food while she mingles about. She runs into the King while rehearsing her party lines. The kindly king’s budding “friendship” with Anastasia comes to end when she and Will are found out as thieves. They’re unceremoniously thrown out of the party. He’s chuffed to bits at having nicked some bread but she isn’t as charmed. She’s seen life on the other side and wants in.
Back at the ravine, Alice is rightfully questioning this leaping business. She deduces that the leap isn’t across the whole ravine (DUH) but a leap of faith. Um, I believe the video clip I linked to said the exact same thing Alice. Just another example of how things would be solved if people watch more movies. Anyway, she just needs to believe in the purest thing in her heart: her love for Cyrus. Gag. But Alice takes a fateful step and the invisible bridge supports her. Until it completely disappears and she plummets down the ravine. See, Indy believed and he didn’t have this problem. Commercial.
Alice wakes up in the depths of the ravine and bellows for the Queen but to no avail.
Another flashback. Fed up with the peasant life, Anastasia wants to go back to her mother’s. But first she’s got a whole plan to steal the crown jewels. Will doesn’t like it one bit while she argues that they’ve got no other choice.
Having successfully escaped his cage, Cyrus is still in the prison because he wants to free the old man the keys. His buddy has other ideas and purposefully drops the keys down the pit so he won’t slow the genie down. Cyrus decides to linger even longer and oh my gosh how has no other guard come by and recaptured this idiot?
Elsewhere in Casa Jafar, the sorcerer is fed up with the Rabbit’s stalling tactics. So he chops off the Rabbit’s foot and dangles it as collateral for information on who else Alice loves.
Down in the ravine, Alice hears a creepy childlike voice calling to her. A zombified version of her younger self emerges. Commercial.
Old Alice asks Young Zombie Alice what she has to do to find the magic dust. The little gremlin says she needs to take her revenge on those who hurt her and Cyrus. She stomps her little foot and causes a big earthquake, which tumbles the Queen down into the ravine. Zombie Alice eggs her older self to kill her enemy but Alice refuses. Her pure of heart shines through causing zombie her to dissolved into the magic dust.
Flashback. Anastasia breaks in to the crown jewels case and gets greedy reaching for a familiar looking tiara. The King catches her.
Back above, Queenie uses her now useful magic to steal the dust from Alice before swishing off. But Alice shows she’s not completely hopeless, having pilfered some of the dust for herself. Please use it on Will!
Back with Jafar, the Rabbit has his foot back and makes a daring escape before Jafar can make him dig to our world. Rabbit runs into Cyrus but lets him escape by turning himself into Jafar instead. He starts to dig.
In Wonderland That Was, the King wants to know why Anastasia is stealing the jewels. Besides the fact that she can rock that tiara like nobody else, she says he doesn’t need them and she does. He’s impressed by her sass and asks for her hand in marriage. He even puts the tiara on her and whispers sweet nothings about her incredible ambition (not a metaphor). Her pitiful pleas that she loves someone else are met with another dose of “love is not enough” talk, just like she heard from her mother. This time it works. As Will waits for her below, a royal announcement is sounded and the King invites the citizens to greet him and his new queen. Anastasia appears in full gown, jewels and sneer, and Will’s sweet face crumples.
Wonderland. Queenie visits Stone Will again and uses the dust on him. Awww! It works but she leaves before he can see it’s her. Alice, apparently not concerned about her friend at all, uses her dust to unveil Jafar’s tower where Cyrus has just emerged.
Rabbit Trails
Anastasia’s mom tells her, “you cannot live on love” and that if she leaves with Will, she’ll only be let back in the mom’s house to empty the chamber pot. Has she been taking mothering lessons from Cora?
Seriously though are Once and Wonderland proving the Disney curse about moms to be true: they’re either evil or they die, sometimes both?
Reason number 154 villains on Once and Wonderland areThis more interesting: they speak for the audience. Red Queen to Alice- “Why don’t you get down off your high horse and we can make a deal?”
I know they’re trying to appeal to the Twilight generation with this sickly sweet love story between Alice and Cyrus but some of their gooey lines make Snow White and Prince Charming seem eloquent in comparison.
So now Cyrus has escaped (mostly) and Alice knows where to head to find him. How long before we cut back and forth between them yelling each other’s names through the forest?
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